The Montgomery County Chamber of Commerce concluded its 2026 Women of Vision series with a conversation about kindness, clarity, and the courage to have uncomfortable conversations. Being nice is generally considered a good thing, especially in the workplace. We want to support our colleagues, preserve relationships, and create environments where people feel respected and valued. But what happens when our desire to be nice prevents us from having the conversations that actually need to happen?

That was the central question explored during the final Women of Vision session of 2026, held October 6 and featuring Dr. Charity Boyette, Assistant Professor of Practice in Management at Virginia Tech's Pamplin College of Business. Drawing from more than two decades of leadership experience, including her time as a Foreign Service Officer with the U.S. Department of State, Boyette challenged attendees to reconsider the relationship between kindness, communication, and accountability.

Her message wasn't about becoming less empathetic or more confrontational. Instead, she encouraged participants to recognize when well-intentioned behavior may actually be creating more problems for themselves and the people they lead.

When Does Being Nice Become Avoidance?

Boyette opened her presentation, When Being Nice Gets in the Way, by asking attendees to reflect on familiar workplace situations. Have you ever rewritten an email several times because you worried it sounded too harsh? Delayed providing feedback because the timing didn't feel right? Agreed to take on another responsibility, only to immediately regret the commitment?

Across the room, participants recognized these behaviors in their own experiences.

While these actions often come from a genuine desire to help others, Boyette explained that they can sometimes prevent meaningful progress. "Sometimes the thing that feels the kindest is actually the least kind," she shared. Avoiding uncomfortable conversations might protect someone's feelings in the moment, but it can also allow problems to continue, expectations to remain unclear, and frustration to build.

For leaders, the challenge is learning to distinguish between genuine kindness and avoiding discomfort.

The Four Traps of Being Too Nice

Throughout the presentation, Boyette introduced four common habits she described as "nice traps," each illustrating how good intentions can lead to unintended consequences.

1. Softening the Message

When delivering feedback, leaders often surround the message with compliments, qualifiers, and reassuring language. Although intended to protect feelings, this approach can make it difficult for someone to recognize that a problem exists. Being respectful doesn't require being ambiguous. Employees and colleagues need to understand what is expected of them to make meaningful improvements.

2. Taking the Problem Back

Effective leaders are often effective problem-solvers. When someone comes to them with a challenge, the instinct may be to step in and fix it. However, consistently solving problems for others can prevent those individuals from developing their own skills and confidence. Sometimes the better question isn't "How can I fix this?" but "What have you tried so far?"

3. Making Exceptions

Flexibility is an essential part of leadership, especially when working with people experiencing different challenges and circumstances. But when exceptions become a way to avoid uncomfortable discussions, they can create uncertainty about expectations and fairness. Boyette encouraged participants to consider when compassion for one individual might unintentionally create challenges for everyone else.

4. Delaying the Conversation

Perhaps the most familiar trap is waiting for the perfect moment to address an issue. Whether it's a missed deadline, repeated behavior, or an unresolved disagreement, postponing the discussion rarely makes the situation easier. Instead, frustration often increases, making the eventual conversation more difficult than it needed to be.

Finding the Middle Ground Through Supportive Candor

One of the session's most valuable concepts was what Boyette called supportive candor. Too often, difficult conversations are approached as a choice between being overly accommodating and unnecessarily harsh. Boyette encouraged attendees to recognize the considerable middle ground between these extremes. Supportive candor means communicating directly while maintaining respect, empathy, and a genuine desire to help someone succeed.

Through interactive exercises, attendees worked together to transform vague or overly softened statements into clear, constructive messages. For example, rather than vaguely suggesting that someone submit reports earlier, a leader could communicate the specific deadline and explain why the information is needed. Similarly, when a client requests work beyond an agreed-upon project scope, being direct about what the original agreement includes creates an opportunity to discuss additional time, resources, or budget without damaging the relationship.

The goal isn't to eliminate kindness from communication. It's to ensure the intended message is understood.

As Boyette reminded attendees, "Clarity isn't cruelty."

Care, Clarity, and Ownership

To help participants put these ideas into practice, Boyette introduced a simple framework built around three principles: care, clarity, and ownership. Before entering an uncomfortable conversation, leaders should consider what the other person needs to understand, who is responsible for addressing the issue, and how they can provide meaningful support without taking over.

This distinction between helping and rescuing became a recurring theme throughout the discussion.

Supporting someone doesn't always mean solving their problem. It might mean asking questions, providing resources, brainstorming solutions, or checking back on their progress. It also means demonstrating confidence in their ability to handle challenges. "I won't solve this for you, but I'm not going to leave you alone with it either," Boyette explained.

For many participants, this presented a different way of thinking about leadership. Allowing others to take ownership of their responsibilities isn't a withdrawal of support. It can be an important investment in their professional growth.

Practicing the Conversations That Matter

As attendees shared questions and personal experiences, the discussion expanded to include communicating with upper management, setting boundaries with clients, managing difficult employees, and finding the confidence to speak more directly. Boyette encouraged participants to prepare for challenging conversations rather than waiting until frustration forces the issue.

One practical recommendation was to identify a trusted professional connection outside their immediate workplace or leadership structure. This individual can offer an objective perspective, review a difficult email, or help rehearse an important conversation.

Preparation can be as simple as writing down the primary message that needs to be communicated. By identifying the central issue before entering a conversation, leaders can remain focused, communicate more confidently, and avoid losing their message in unnecessary explanations. Most importantly, Boyette emphasized that effective communication should remain authentic to the individual. There is no single script or personality required to practice supportive candor.

Closing a Year of Leadership, Connection, and Growth

This final conversation brought the Chamber's 2026 Women of Vision series to a meaningful close.

Throughout the series, participants explored leading with influence, prioritizing well-being as a leadership strategy, finding the courage to ask for more, and navigating the uncomfortable conversations that are an inevitable part of professional growth. Together, these discussions reinforced that leadership is not defined by a single skill or experience. It requires self-awareness, adaptability, meaningful relationships, and a willingness to continue learning.

The Chamber extends its appreciation to Dr. Charity Boyette for leading an engaging and thought-provoking final session and to each of the speakers who contributed their experiences and perspectives throughout the year. A special thank-you goes to First & Main, the Presenting Sponsor of the 2026 Women of Vision series. Their support helped create opportunities for women throughout the New River Valley to connect, learn from one another, and develop skills they can carry into their businesses, organizations, and communities. We also thank every participant who attended, contributed to the discussions, and helped make this year's series a valuable experience.

As Women of Vision concludes for 2026, Boyette's closing message offers a reminder that extends well beyond the workplace:

"You can be gracious and clear at the same time."

And sometimes, having the courage to say what needs to be said is one of the most supportive things a leader can do.