What are you waiting for?

A promotion. Another qualification. The right opportunity. A quieter season. Proof that you are finally ready.

Waiting can sometimes be strategic. But it can also become a convincing reason to avoid the question underneath it all: What do you actually want?

That question guided the third session of Women of Vision, the Montgomery County Chamber of Commerce leadership series created to inspire, connect, and empower women across the New River Valley. During the session Holly Kobia, founder of Kobia Consulting, challenged attendees to think more deliberately about what they want—and what might happen if they gave themselves permission to ask for it.

“More” does not have one definition

Wanting more does not necessarily mean adding another responsibility to an already crowded calendar. Depending on the season, “more” might mean greater responsibility, a new challenge, more income, more ownership, greater balance, more time with family, or simply a different direction.

Holly encouraged participants to take inventory of what they may have outgrown, both personally and professionally. A role or routine can remain familiar long after it has stopped fitting. Recognizing that does not make someone disloyal or ungrateful. It means they are paying attention.

Throughout her career—from television journalism and higher-education advancement to consulting, teaching, and business ownership—Holly has repeatedly asked whether the life she was building was still the life she wanted. Each answer required a new decision and, eventually, a new ask.

Confidence and courage are not the same

One of the session’s clearest distinctions was between confidence and courage.

Confidence grows from experience. It is knowing the work, understanding your abilities, and trusting the skills you have developed. Courage appears when the outcome is still uncertain—when the answer might be no, the new role might be difficult, or the next step might not work as planned.

Many meaningful opportunities require both. Confidence helps someone build the case. Courage makes it possible to say the words: Consider me. Give me the opportunity. Help me understand. Let’s explore this idea together.

The ask does not guarantee the outcome, but avoiding it can guarantee that the opportunity never begins.

Preparation can become postponement

Preparation matters. Research, qualifications, feedback, and thoughtful planning can strengthen any decision. Yet Holly cautioned that preparation can also become a way to defer action indefinitely.

Her phrase “action provides clarity” became one of the morning’s strongest takeaways. At some point, another certificate, another year, or another round of research may not make the decision clearer. Taking one real step—starting a conversation, requesting feedback, contacting a potential partner, or applying for the opportunity—often reveals what preparation alone cannot.

A useful ask begins with a simple framework:

• What do I want in this season?
• Who needs to hear the ask?
• What information or relationship would strengthen it?
• When will I act?

Without a deadline, even a deeply held goal can remain safely theoretical.

Leadership also means bringing someone with you

The courage to ask is not only about personal advancement. It also shapes how leaders recognize and develop others.

Holly shared examples of people whose talent became more visible when someone encouraged them to apply, lead, or take on greater responsibility. Most professionals can point to a person who saw potential in them before they fully recognized it themselves. Strong leaders continue that cycle by noticing underused talent, opening doors, and making the invitation explicit.

Sometimes the most consequential ask is not “Will you give me a chance?” but “Have you considered what you could do next?”

A “no” is still information

Fear of rejection keeps many worthwhile questions unasked. During the discussion, Holly offered a different way to view it: if every answer is yes, perhaps the asks are not ambitious enough. A no can provide information, expose a gap, redirect the approach, or move someone closer to the next yes.

That does not make rejection comfortable. It makes it useful.

Women of Vision was created for conversations like this—conversations that combine professional insight, lived experience, and the perspectives of women leading throughout the New River Valley. The value was not limited to what happened at the front of the room. It continued as attendees shared leadership lessons, tested ideas, and helped one another think more clearly about their next steps.

So, what is the ask you have been preparing to make—and what would change if you finally made it?

Women of Vision is presented by First & Main in partnership with the Montgomery County Chamber of Commerce.